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.​.​.​anyway

by Zyklonfilter

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1.
Overwhelmed 01:05
I turn my head against the wall feel like I could sleep 40 hours more I worked my ass off to see you today and now there's nothing I could do to stay awake even if I wanna do so till you come home this tide floods my cave so as you're not here anyway at least send me a lifeboat I wanna get shipwrecked by your port I'll be floundering like a fish on the bank take me home or throw me back
2.
when I said I didn't mean to hurt you nothing was closer to the truth yet I did and it's the third time I escaped but I didn't know where to run though I may not seem to care about all the desperate things you said I must admit I was scared and I can't move on only if I dared to let go of anxiety to leave it all behind it would be so much easier with you but now you're out of sight when I said I've never meant to love you nothing was further from the truth cause I did, but not the way you wanted me to I could've never coped with all that fucking guilt so I cried in angst, called a friend of mine we got wasted and I gave it a try I loved you, but I love her more your angry words still echo in my mind the next serve is yours I've already missed mine though we've been playing for 3 months this game is still a tie say it ain't so at least I have never lied to you I acted awkward, now I don't know what to do I guess you hate me now, I can't take it anymore call me when you calmed down
3.
you just bowed with flat, gazed eyes while I was trying to convince you to do something with your life you said "Yeah I know", then I said "Cheers" and we haven't talked ever since "Why do you care about me?" "You would not believe" nothing would changed if I told you I almost went on despite the fact that you're no longer the person I've met 9 years ago back in high school when you were a weirdo and I was lame too I always cared too much for those who never deserved you'll never cease to think that I'm just a fly on your turd and I wonder why I still feel like falling on my knees by the finish line I still hope you're gonna carry me through but what the fuck do I care though? break the barriers unite the rivers cause we can only wash away this pain together but then again, I don't need your greed so stop twisting your knife in me fuck your problems and do what you want I'll move on and forget that you were the one
4.
Tire Swing 02:33
I really like it when you're the last one to see on a day I always make your bed before I leave and I kinda like to lean back from the other side of the porch for another last kiss right after you opened the door wearing only my shirt I should've counted the corners the first time I got here and now I should inculcate all your lively lumbers in me and I'm not sure anymore if I'll ever sleep in your bed again sometimes we seem to be back at the core but tell me who you are if you overtake the last one? second-hand shops and sports bars the town centre adopted your scent of coconuts and sea shells I feel like swinging in the tire on the oak tree in your garden I would never trade this feeling for another this time I'm flying with my eyes shut it gives me goosebumps but that's not the only reason you can call me nuts at the front end I'm turning back here I am heading back to you again I'm not sure it's a great plan I've been thinking of hopping out but the branch is too high, the rope is too short or I love you too much don't push me out I wanna rot in this tire swing without even knowing you'll never love me back
5.
you mix me up with your memories for me now's the time you've become real your beauty seems even less like a dream but it still haunts me love's like having gastric ulcer or even more like a soft armchair that suddenly disappears and I fall to the ground in a careless moment sometimes I'd like to get you erased while I'm asleep just like Kate Winslet did to Jim Carrey but now I'm Jim Carrey and I'd rather have my heart torn into pieces than passing by each other on the streets just like strangers do cause i couldn't imagine a life without you i'm drowning in static desperation cause i can't stay afloat on my own even with you i always felt that way though and though it's over, it will never really be I'm helplessly stuck in the moment of falling false awakening, sleep paralysis, the endless row of daydreams which is worse? maybe the fact that I've gotta cope with this fucking shitpile on my own and though Montauk's destroyed for us and your red hair belongs to the past I've still got another last question to ask: "Will you be my Clementine?"
6.
Closure 02:54
you're like the first sunny day after all those months of heavy rain and though it's still February and the sun's got no strength I do believe that soon it's gonna be spring again but there's no such things as early warmth anymore I'd still grab my sneakers, my torn and dull jeans and I'd grab my skateboard and dial your number "meet you at the park?" but there's no such things as early warmth anymore so I guess I'll have to find another excuse to see your face again maybe a drink at the bar do you remember our first kiss over there? it's been a year, the fucking slowest one in my life it wasn't much fun, yet I still tend to pretend in fact I was scared it will never end so even if you stayed, I'd be instantly gone and I won't come back to you cause I couldn't stand watching our youth rushing away from us while we're still stuck back at the same point it just makes no sense at all why should I care anymore? it's not that part of my life I'd love to recall next to each other but not together like in that photograph next to each other but not together just like at that party at an old friend's house
7.
6 Pine St 02:41
the best thing I could say about my life is that I wrote so many pages full os worthless lines turning my thoughts into action has never felt so hard for you love is cheap and easy but I have to think it twice though i'm an introverted guy I still take efforts to be nice i'm closed into my thoughts, I don't speak too much even if I care when you moved away I just stood and stared I wanna go back to 6 Pine St the place I used to spend my lazy summer nights my homesickness is fed by time for me it's damn hard to ignore that you told me you didn't love me anymore can you still recall me telling you "when we're together, awkward silence gets washed away by endless laughters so does my pain - you're the one who taught me trust my luck once again with you at last I don't feel alone I've spent too much time on my own I don't care if tonight the world ends we'd just keep walking 'round hand in hand hand in hand - don't ask me where to everywhere it's perfect with you" there's no room for a single smile in the corners of my mouth maybe this is the last time I see you around
8.
in the concrete jungle of Emerald City next to the bench of an outcast king amongst rumours and quarrels I'm coming back to find my peace again in the same old bed Brickleberry's on TV in the background I've decided to watch you sleep instead so how are we now? I can't answer just gaze you lamely we are waiting for each other to put down the swords and shield you don't trust you I don't trust me but we once trusted in each other though we share the same thoughts and feelings we share the same doubts too so as we don't speak but wait for one another to do so eternal silence and awkward hugs that's what we still do when you chase it it's nowhere around when you quit the game somehow it's instantly found but when it's perfect life will take it away and you're back at the start so lay your bets and play again I know it's a cliche but only time can heal the pain everything else is quite in vain I keep focusing on the lesson I've learnt but guess what? my stomach still aches and my eyes are still burnt bracelets and photographs bad poems and more all your memories are thrown out the window
9.
Bloom 01:28
are we just having fun or it's something more? the pavement's glittering after rain, as the sky became clear and while we are walking 'round in the empty town and everything's filled with colours I'm trying to catch a glimpse of your sleepy brown eyes there was a huge party at the local punk club we talked about books after our show the only beerchat I'll ever adore "do you prefer Salinger or Vonnegut?" it's weird - the sky is gray the same way as it was yesterday I was so angry and desperate but now as the world is becoming dull again I've got no fear of this throwback cause it's another kind of gray though the shade's the same and suddenly the whole universe seems to be reorganised based on the same molecules but all of them's reallanged what has changed? is it a whole new story of just a short episode? for one of us it obviously seems a lot more but which one's me?

about

recorded in the Pfitzner mansion
mixed and mastered by Kiss R. Barnabás

credits

released September 3, 2017

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all rights reserved

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about

Zyklonfilter Veszprém, Hungary

pop punk / emo band from Hungary.

Bazsa - drums, ex cod2 hero
Danika - bass, vox, körömcsipesz
Mozsi - guitar, bunnycoin billionaire
Tomi - guitar, vox

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